Amending The Golden Rule

The other day I found myself defending why I spend so much time on other people, and so little on me. Now, I don't mean the selfish kind of time. I mean time spent exercising, writing, reading, paying bills, or cleaning my apartment. Why do these things always fall victim to the needs of others? The short answer is, "I don't know," but the long-winded Katie Version of an "I Don't Know" is this:

Firstly, this is not a good or healthy thing to be in defense of.

I knew it sounded silly when I was saying it aloud; "I just don't have time for me because of work and everything." I knew it wasn't a good argument - but that it just was one. And, even though the person with whom I was speaking didn't challenge the foolishness of my defense, he did appear to ponder it contemplatively, and for long enough that I then began to dwell on it internally.

I don't take care of myself because I'm too busy working? And, what is this "everything" that stands between me and my well-being? Silly, Katie, tricks are for kids.

Making time for one's self isn't always the easy thing to do. Sometimes, it sounds or feels selfish. Other times, it's just might feel a bit boring and solitary. Add, still, other times, it's not even what one really wants to do. I mean, who pencils in "Pay Bills" and feels pumped to be doing it? Nobody.

But, it's for the greater good. Taking care of one's self is part of growing up, part up moving on, and part of the creative process. In order to find time to work creatively on the things that matter most to me - like my writing - I have to make time. I have to wake up early, go to bed late, or take a moment in the midst of my hectic day to jot down some notes. I have to. Or else, I'll fail to be the writer - or even the person - that I want to be.

The problem is, I'm a people person. I'm a helper. I'm a social butterfly. I would choose drinks with friends who need to chat over time by myself. I would choose dinner with a friend I haven't seen in a while over time by myself. I would accompany a friend to an event if they needed me over time by myself. I would take a walk with my mom, pick up a shift, and run errands with a friend all over making time for myself.

I play the role of helper, assistant, encourager, friend, enabler (good and bad, yes) and support system. And, because I have awesome people in my life, they all provide me with the same. However, there are things and tendencies that only I can inspire within me - like exercise and writing and paying bills - and I have to man up and make it happen.

My mother raised me with the mantra, "Do unto others as you would have others do unto you." However, I think I've reached a place in my life where the Golden Rule requires some modification.

Do unto yourself as you have done for others.

Make time. Make things. Make progress.