Foxwoods: A Haiku

I went to see Bodies Revealed today. (Which, is an amazing exhibit, and I highly recommend it.)

It was a nice day for the drive to Foxwoods, and I was with my bestie, Meg, so we had a blast... we always do.

But.

I have never been to a casino before.

And, guess what I learned?

Casinos are totally effed.

A haiku about Foxwoods:

Fanny packs, booze, smoke.
Elderly scooter drivers.
There are one cent slot machines.

A Man, A Plan, A Canal, Panama

Sometimes I feel like a palindrome.

No matter if I'm going forward or backward, I always end up in the same place at the end.

I don't so much mean it in a bad way.

Well. That's debatable.

It could be bad, with a silver lining... or it could be all silver.

In other news: I want to have a cocktail party. Who's in?

(Winter, Spring, Summer) Fall Down

Maybe not everyone is like me... but, I'm seasonally influenced.

For example: Music.

Summer music favorites include that which is fun, upbeat, with lots of clapping, shouting, and keyboards with fun choruses and happy-go-lucky spunk.

Fall music is melancholy, but still pretty, with harmony, somewhat upbeat tempo, but with instruments that are acoustic versus electronic.

Winter music can be similar to fall, but likely with a more slit-your-wrists type of vibe, more acoustic, more woe-is-me, troubled and contemplative.

Spring music is often heavy on the girl vocals, with lots of string influence and the occasional Moog.

Anyway. That's just music. My food, booze, reading, color, and extracurricular preferences change for each season as well.

Currently:

Food: Soup and salad.
Booze: Whiskey or red wine.
Reading: Anything I can't put down.
Color: Eggplant and gray.
Extracurricular: Nesting, organizing; anything to promote comfort/coziness.

All of this is leading me to this point:

I am making myself melancholy.

Because it is autumn, I fall into a pattern. I listen to sad-ish music, I dress for a chill, I watch the leaves die (yes, they're pretty, but they're still disappearing), and I become hermit-like.

This is why I often think I should set movies. I can set a scene like whoa. Give me a picture, I'll give you a soundtrack.

Tonight's playlist: Belle and Sebastian, Ben Gibbard, Jeff Mangum, Neko Case, Pedro The Lion, Cat Power.

For real. I don't know if anyone knows what the above list means, musically speaking, but if you do... yeah.

If you know... you know.

Bring It In, Bring It On

A word of advice, brought to you by the lit-up sign I drove by on my way home today:

"Bring in the harvest with Jesus."

This is New Bedford. There is no harvesting going on here.

Unless you count the two pints of Blue Moon Harvest Ale that I had with dinner... at which I had a conversation with a friend about people who love Jesus and how we're not those people.

So, you know what? Maybe I did bring in the harvest with Jesus and I didn't even know it.

Well, would ya look at that.

Oh, hey Optimism, where have you been?

So, today was pretty rough on me. I ran a gamut of emotions, most of which were in the "I'm totally effed" to "I'm only kind of effed" range. Mostly, I was pretty sure that - in one way or another - I was effed.

Mostly I'm stressed about thesis work because it's a lot of effort to put into a "job" that may or may not exist in a year, or might exist but with different qualifiers, or might exist but with different standards or requirements or prerequisites or whatever you want to call it. It's just... a lot. A lot to handle.

My chest is tight, it feels like someone is sitting on it. It's not a good place. I hate this place.

Anyway, I started thinking about my "path" and then I recalled a conversation I had on Saturday while I was at work. And, it made me feel okay again.

So, I work in a restaurant where a lot of people are regulars. (Think Cheers, but multiply the regulars by fifty or so.) And, being that I've been at the restaurant for six years, they're now my friends. We hang out, we share stories, we're friends on Facebook... we're friends.

One of those friends came in on Saturday and, like he usually does, talked to me about my various Facebook status updates. He loves my often clever, pun-ish updates, though he never comments, he just waits until we see one another in person, and then he's all "Oh, remember when you wrote this... that was a good one!" It's funny.

Anyway. So, his friend was with him, as usual, and after witnessing this conversation yet again - because I think we have it every week - he, in all seriousness, said "You should be a writer or something, you're good at it."

I should be a writer.

No one has ever told me that I should be the exact thing I was trying to be.

I think it's a good sign. I'm where I should be. I'm doing what I should be doing. I'm doing what I love, what I'm good at.

That feels good.

So, get away from me, tension and stress. You can't stop this. You can't keep me from what I want... even if the only way I can express myself is in an effing Facebook update.

Whatever.

Thesis Shmesis: A Rant About Grad School

This post is for venting purposes. If I couldn't type this out right now, I would scream and screaming in the library is frowned upon. I want to scream, though. I really do. This post is the quiet, passive version of screaming. Though, I am typing forcefully to relieve some of my tension. It's kind of helping, but not really. I'd much rather scream.

Okay. So. Here it goes.

As part of our thesis proposal, I am required to investigate the field in which I hope to obtain employment. This, for me, means the field of Science Writing/Communication/Journalism.

The results are not totally disheartening, in that there are actually jobs - and seemingly quite a few of them, especially in Maryland which I haven't yet figured out. Anyway, the problem becomes this: The majority of the jobs want writers with science backgrounds, not writers with writing backgrounds and an interest in writing about science. They want hardcore freakin' scientists who used to stand around in lab coats but because they're so well versed in the way of the sciences, they've decided to impart some of their genius on the rest of the world in the form of written communication.

I am not good at science.

I am good at understanding science, but not because I am a scientist, it is because I am a problem solver. I like to find reasons and solutions for things.

I like to write about science because I like to take something confusing and break it down, I love to find a metaphorical way of showing/telling what the hell it means to me, you, and everyone we know.

Yes. I love it. This probably makes me a giant geek but I don't care. I like being a geek.

I love metaphor. I love metaphor and analogy and I love using words to make things happen, make things change, make ideas more accessible and make concepts more clear. I love explaining something difficult in a way that makes the person's face go "ohh" when they finally get it. See how cool this crazy science is? See why this completely ridiculous discovery is important and fascinating? I love turning on the light bulb.

But I am not a scientist.

So. Now what?

Eff. Eff. Eff.

Must Read, Mustache

This article is entirely about mustaches.

It's funny.

You should read it.

(This post is evidence of my total lack of motivation to do anything productive.)

You Won't Regret This

Adventureland.

See it.

After you watch the movie, open your iTunes, search the store for "Adventureland Soundtrack," and then select "Buy This Album."

One movie, iTunes, and $9.99 can change your life.

You're welcome.

Autumn Hiatus

Well. I became one of those people who has a blog that they don't update. How terribly annoying.

Mostly it's because of school... I have so much work to do, it leaves very little spare time for my own personal ventures.

But, that's no excuse.

In addition to sucking up all of my time, school is pretty exciting. Mostly because it's my last year. I can hardly believe it. And, though I never thought I'd say this: thesis research is fun. It means someday relatively soon I'll be a Writer. (Yes, that capital W is there on purpose.)

In other news: I'm in love with fall. In. Love.

The leaves are changing, the air is crisp, and the sun is glowing. It makes me smile. Literally.

And, for some reason, I can't stop listening to the Velvet Underground.

"I'm Sticking With You"