Oh, hey Optimism, where have you been?

So, today was pretty rough on me. I ran a gamut of emotions, most of which were in the "I'm totally effed" to "I'm only kind of effed" range. Mostly, I was pretty sure that - in one way or another - I was effed.

Mostly I'm stressed about thesis work because it's a lot of effort to put into a "job" that may or may not exist in a year, or might exist but with different qualifiers, or might exist but with different standards or requirements or prerequisites or whatever you want to call it. It's just... a lot. A lot to handle.

My chest is tight, it feels like someone is sitting on it. It's not a good place. I hate this place.

Anyway, I started thinking about my "path" and then I recalled a conversation I had on Saturday while I was at work. And, it made me feel okay again.

So, I work in a restaurant where a lot of people are regulars. (Think Cheers, but multiply the regulars by fifty or so.) And, being that I've been at the restaurant for six years, they're now my friends. We hang out, we share stories, we're friends on Facebook... we're friends.

One of those friends came in on Saturday and, like he usually does, talked to me about my various Facebook status updates. He loves my often clever, pun-ish updates, though he never comments, he just waits until we see one another in person, and then he's all "Oh, remember when you wrote this... that was a good one!" It's funny.

Anyway. So, his friend was with him, as usual, and after witnessing this conversation yet again - because I think we have it every week - he, in all seriousness, said "You should be a writer or something, you're good at it."

I should be a writer.

No one has ever told me that I should be the exact thing I was trying to be.

I think it's a good sign. I'm where I should be. I'm doing what I should be doing. I'm doing what I love, what I'm good at.

That feels good.

So, get away from me, tension and stress. You can't stop this. You can't keep me from what I want... even if the only way I can express myself is in an effing Facebook update.

Whatever.