Dating (or) The Chapter I Missed

So, today I slept until one in the afternoon. One. Crazy. Though that's all well and good, now it's three in the morning and I'm still wide awake. Hence, my brain starts overworking, over wondering, and over interpreting.

Here's my latest issue: I've never dated, in the adult sense of the word. I've never gone on dates with one person while we both "date" other people in order to decide who the best and most worthy person is to date exclusively. Is this normal?

R & I met when I was seventeen. We dated (entirely exclusively) until I was twenty-one. I have no idea why or how, it's just what we did. The other boyfriends I had after him were boyfriends by default... we didn't date. We were "exclusive" because we spent so much time in each others presence that there was no other way to be... we had no alone time, no privacy, and too many mutual friends to be dating other people at the same time.

So, now I'm wondering: How does this dating thing work? How do I go on dates with more than just one boy and not feel guilty? How do I handle that the boys will go on other dates and expect me not to feel jealous?

Wait... are we all just running a tab in our mind of who we like more than whom? I mean, I hate reality dating shows, but really, are they that far away from the real reality?

Are they really that exaggerated, or are we all hosting our own personal reality dating show in our head until we decidedly select the person who's lasted round after round until they have proved their worthiness and we decide they win?

I'm so not an adult. I don't care what my age says... I'm not cut out for this. I just want to watch movies and cuddle with my boyfriend. No games. No bullshit. No challenges. No competition.

Good luck, right? Yeah.

Spoken Word

This weekend is Summerfest in Downtown. People from all over the place flood the streets for folk music, food, craft beer, art, authors, museums, galleries... you name it - you can find it this weekend.

The restaurant I've worked in now for - gasp - six years, is right in the midst of the craziness.

By the end of today I will have worked nearly thirty hours in three days. Funny things start happening at the end of these long shifts...

Me: Clearing plates from customer's table. How was everything tonight?
Customer: Oh... soooo good. Delicious.
Me: Excellent. Would you like anything else tonight?
Customer: Rubbing belly due to fullness. A stretcher!
Me: Only if we can share.
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Me: How are you, folks today?
Customer: Very well, thanks.
Me: Great. Would you like something to drink?
Customer: Are your eyes real?
Me: Gesturing to my face. Yes. Yes, it's all real. Something to drink?
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Me: Can I help you sir?
Guy Waiting at the Bar: Can I have a glass of wine to go?
Me: Um. No. I'm sorry...
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Me: Would you like something to drink?
Customer: Gestures to her nine-year-old. She'll have a virgin martini.
Me: A virgin martini?
Customer: Yes. Something with no alcohol in it.
Me: A virgin daiquiri? A virgin colada?
Customer: A martini. Without any alcohol, though. She can't have one with alcohol.
Me: Exasperated, to the little girl. Do you like strawberries or pineapples better?
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Oh yeah. And, happy Fourth of July.

Addiction

I can't stop listening to the Dark Was The Night compilation.

We've technically been involved since February... approximately four or so days after it became available on iTunes. After buying it, I played it incessantly. That is, until I didn't anymore. The problem was that other things got in the way, like Ida Maria, The Walkmen, and the new Yeah Yeah Yeahs.

But then, something happened...

I rode the train home from Stamford, CT a couple weeks ago. It's about a three hour ride, and I was tired, slightly hungover from a weekend's worth of wedding festivities, and a tad reminiscient for the good times that were had. I chose to play the DWTN comp and I listened to it in it's entirety for the first time in a long time. I watched the scenery speed by, I watched the nameless, muted faces board and exit the train; I watched the conductor pace the aisles and the girl next to me sleep. I watched and I listened and all over again I fell in love with the music on this album.

I can't explain what it does to me... it makes me think, it makes me listen, it makes me happy and it makes me sad. Each song just so gracefully marries into the next; each voice carries so lovely a tune that I nearly believe nothing more remarkable could happen, and then it does, and it's not just any voice, but that of a cello.

It's a lengthy musical committment to listen to it all in one sitting, but I swear I would ride the train to Stamford again just to be able to fit it all in to one moment, one uninterrupted chapter, one deep inhalilation... it's that good. It's that impressive. It's that crave-able.

Check it out.

Ten Things

In no particular order, for no particular reason, here you are:

1. I'm tired of hearing people complain about the rain. It's New England weather; it does whatever it wants. Get over it. Yes, I want summer, too, but nothing can be done.

2. I'm becoming mentally antsy... it's time to start writing again, and not just in blog format.

3. The mantra Let It Go must become more of a presence in my life. It applies to everything, and I need to practice it more readily.

4. I have a flat tire; my car is sitting outside my house. I haven't dealt with it yet, and I should have done so by now. Welcome to My Anxiety.

5. July Fourth is in two days. Two. Where has the time gone?

6. I promised myself I would do something incredible in August... but what? Any ideas?

7. Sometimes being a bad liar doesn't pay off. I share my opinion a bit too readily, and I need to realize that omitting an opinion is sometimes kinder than sharing one.

8. I need a roommate. Seriously. For real. Soon.

9. Fresh eggs are 100% better than store-bought eggs & I found a local source, so now I don't have to wait for visits from or to my parent's house. Yay.

10. Dating is fun. (Smile.)