Spoken Word

This weekend is Summerfest in Downtown. People from all over the place flood the streets for folk music, food, craft beer, art, authors, museums, galleries... you name it - you can find it this weekend.

The restaurant I've worked in now for - gasp - six years, is right in the midst of the craziness.

By the end of today I will have worked nearly thirty hours in three days. Funny things start happening at the end of these long shifts...

Me: Clearing plates from customer's table. How was everything tonight?
Customer: Oh... soooo good. Delicious.
Me: Excellent. Would you like anything else tonight?
Customer: Rubbing belly due to fullness. A stretcher!
Me: Only if we can share.
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Me: How are you, folks today?
Customer: Very well, thanks.
Me: Great. Would you like something to drink?
Customer: Are your eyes real?
Me: Gesturing to my face. Yes. Yes, it's all real. Something to drink?
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Me: Can I help you sir?
Guy Waiting at the Bar: Can I have a glass of wine to go?
Me: Um. No. I'm sorry...
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Me: Would you like something to drink?
Customer: Gestures to her nine-year-old. She'll have a virgin martini.
Me: A virgin martini?
Customer: Yes. Something with no alcohol in it.
Me: A virgin daiquiri? A virgin colada?
Customer: A martini. Without any alcohol, though. She can't have one with alcohol.
Me: Exasperated, to the little girl. Do you like strawberries or pineapples better?
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Oh yeah. And, happy Fourth of July.