The Completely Fabricated World

Remember when The Real World was... well, real? I mean, real is relative, in the world of reality television (oh, the irony), but you know what I mean.

I just watched (wasted) about fifteen minutes worth of the Real World Cancun. It is anything but actual, tangible, relative information. Not to say that MTV ever really broadcast actual, tangible, relative information (Singled Out, anyone?), but, really, this crap is ridiculous.

Ri. Dic. U. Lous.

Episode synopsis: Boy with plugs and tattoos (read: Token Bad Boy) gets drunk all day at the roommates' "job" (which is basically playing chaperone to masses of spring breakers) while he is not working, then brings the "whore from the booty-shakin' contest" home for some good ol' fashioned midday hookin' up, then sends her home, goes to sleep, and then doesn't get up for work when his way more responsible (read: Boring) roommate (you know, the MTV-thought-he'd-be-good-material-'cause-he's-gay one) wakes him up. When he is confronted by a boss about his not showing up, he says "cut the drama."

Cut the drama?

Oh. The real-ness of this is staggering.

Not long afterward, the boss calls a meeting to discuss the importance of showing up for your shift (Is this meeting material? Isn't this the entire premise of having a job?) and calling if you can't make it to work and the tattooed shift-skipper says in his one-on-one interview: "Way to call me out, dude!"

Yeah. I'm pretty sure that's what he was doing. He was definitely calling you out.

Then later, "I love you, Cancun, but I hate this job!" Well, Cancun loves ya too, buddy. Cancun and booty-shakin'-whores. They both love you.

Ugh. I can't.

Besides. Nobody lives in fucking Cancun. This is just gratuituos and nonsensical.

And, finally, a letter.

Dear MTV,

Are you that desperate? This should be called "The Train Wreck."

Your characters learn completely unrelatable life lessons like how to hold down a ridiculously easy job, how not to make out with their hot, sexy roommates while their significant others are hundreds of miles away, pining away while they film a booze-drenched reality show in Cancun. Calling them every night and saying "Baby, I love you" six hundred times might be enough. We'll see.

Thanks for my dose of self-worth tonight, MTV.

Love,

Katie